The Crazies (2010)

{ October 9, 2010 @ 3:01 am } · { Reviws }
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The Crazies is a remake of the 1973 file which is basically about the inhabitants of a small town suddenly plagued by insanity and then death after a mysterious toxin contaminates their water supply. The government tried to contain the toxin but fails and chaos breaks out. Is this movie as boring as the plot sounds?

The Crazies feature a redundant plot and story, but this movie delivers in the horror genre. This movie does not feature some teens trying to survive that you have no sympathy for in the end. It features a loving cast that you support all the way to the end of the movie. Do not get confused with some zombie epidemic; these people are fast-pace smart-ass crazy breeding hillbillies that are out to kill people for the fun of it. Several scenes will make you jump in your seat and make you go to bed wondering if your water is safe to drink. Of course, the movie have some minor problems like the middle plot features a person who could be possibly contaminated but is carried along anyway. In addition, the characters still do dumb stuff like leaving one another alone when you should be together at all times. This makes me want to bring out my horror list dos and don’ts.

In the end, do not let my minor cons prevent you from seeing this movie. It is better than what most will suspect and can keep the kids quiet for a day or two. I loved the film and wish more horror movies could take the journey approach rather than the teens trapped in the middle of nowhere. A nice soundtrack, good characters you can relate too, and one hell of a crazy ride that make you hold on to your seat.

I give the Crazies an 8 our of 10.

Russell Clank: I saw a movement!
David Dutton: Everything is fuckin’ moving!

Paranormal Activity

{ October 4, 2010 @ 6:43 am } · { Reviws }
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Paranormal Activity
by Morez King

Let’s start with how good the movie appeared when the trailer was posted everywhere. We all assumed this movie was a real document of ghost, but of course it was not. A normal movie with a bad acting cast. The movie have its good and bads but I will tell you if it delieved in the thriller category.

Paranormal Activity is not a horror film but more of a thriller. It features a couple living in a house that is haunted. The plot could be better as you spend more time focused on where a ghost may appear then actually listening to the actors. The movie becomes predictable when the couple film everything and the ghost only appear when they are sleep. The time frame on the camera gives away the horror. It speeds up and slows down when something scary is about to happen, making it very predictable. The only thing that made this movie creepy was the loud bass and sound effects when the ghost did stupid shit like pull the sheets off the bed. Maybe it was the open window? The husband becomes obsessed with filming everything and do stupid shit to irritate the ghost and the wife does stupid shit like complete 5 different alternative endings! There is no music no other people, just a house and them stupid ass people. The house is also a suburban style vacation home that can be rented in Florida. Now really the best setting for a haunted house. Nothing scary here but the chick yelling loud and the ghost slamming doors.

Overall, the movie is just another Blair Witch Project that was a big hype but huge let down. The fact this movie is coming out with a part two that looks just the same is ridiculous. They spend more time sleeping in the film then actually being a real couple. Their life looks VERY BORING. No TV, no fun just stuck in the house all day filming fucking ghosts that does not exist in their vacation home. Therefore, This movie is a pass.

I give this film a 4 out of 10.

My Bloody Valentine 3D (2009) Remake

{ March 16, 2009 @ 6:59 am } · { Uncategorized }
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My Bloody Valentine 3D (2009)

Reviewed by Morez King

That is way too dramatic. The 3D was good but it wasnt a Universal Studios ride jeez.

That is way too dramatic. The 3D was good but it wasn't a Universal Studios ride jeez.

 

 

I want to start by saying, I am not going into this review with my mind on the old version of My Bloody Valentine, so do not look for it to pop up. This is a completely new film, up scaling the horror genre.

 

First, I got to the movie 1 minute late (during a killing scene!) and I had to run in with my friend and throw on the glasses. We also sat on the stairs because no seats were left, but this did not ruin the movie at all.

 

The Story of My Bloody Valentine is not the greatest in the world, but for a 3D film, I say it is damn good. Think about all 3D films you ever saw? What they all have in common? Some sort of technology-future shit. Why do most 3D films have to take the stupid cheesy cyber route? This movie those not do it. It stays with a good horror plot and adds 3D in for the enjoyment.

 

Let us talk about the Movie alone without 3D. The characters are great and the cast play their roles fine. The story involves around a mining co. in a small town. Can be cliché considering it is a small town horror film. Sometimes I think the movie could have used another title. Valentine theme did not play out too well in this film. They tossed in a few boxes of chocolates, how lovely is that? There are those typical horror movie moments, but I guess them things will never change huh? The girl who runs and trip, knock something over, or what about the dude chasing the fucking killer instead of running? The movie have a “twist” in the end that some can see coming, but if you good like I am, you will notice the twist have a huge flaw in it. I will not spoil the film this time. The killings were one of the best parts about this film. The killer used a pickaxe to murder his victims, and he did not go easy. I am talking hooking the axe in body parts and ripping them off. The comedy level was great from outside characters, but the main stars played a more serious face throughout the entire film.

 

On a 3D level, it makes the film even better! It sucks if you live in a small old town and have to see this film in 2D. You had better start partitioning your local theater get a 3D update! The killings mostly are in 3D and make you cringe even more when an axe is flying at your face. The Three-dimensional technology fitted in the film wonderful. It was not over used (*cough* Spy Kids 3D *cough*) and it showed up in the perfect moments. However, the film was not 3D throughout, so when a scary moment comes up, the film goes into 3D, ruining a suspenseful moment. Kind of like, “tap; tap something’s about to happen!” It can be bad on the eyes sometimes, but the 3D glasses were plastic and not that paper blue/red crap. You had better keep your glasses at the end! Now horror movies will try to recreate the 3D experience after the release of this film. I cannot wait to see what is in store next for 3D films in general!

 

I give My Bloody Valentine… 8 out of 10!

 

Irene: I’m not a whore!
Frank the Trucker: [tossing her a $20 bill] You are now!

Not Easily Broken

{ January 25, 2009 @ 5:39 am } · { Uncategorized }
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Chestnut and Henson on cover

Chestnut and Henson on cover

Not Easily Broken Review
by Morez King

A drama it is, but did it try too hard to win an Oscar? Not Easily Broken is about a black couple trying to work out the problems in their relationship. The hard working wife (Henson) is too busy to settle down with her husband (chestnut) and have a child. Soon after an accident, Clarice mother (Lewis) comes along and make life worse for Dave. Now what can possibly be the downfalls of, what could have been a great movie?

Tyler Perry film all the way. This movie is just like a Tyler Perry film/play without the goofy Madea. Not saying that is a bad thing, but there are some been-there done-that moments with this film. One thing that really makes this movie enjoyable is the diverse cast and style. We get a mixture of upper class African Americans and low class as well. Then there are the white cast who comes in as friends, giving the vibe and presence of California. Chestnut makes a great leading actor. He keeps us all satisfied and shows a very great spirit throughout the film. However, did his character come off too innocent? Henson became annoying at times like the actors that are in Tyler Perry’s plays. Excessively cute of a face should not pull too many emotions. Her mother on the other hand is always playing the strong mommas in black films. She is funny and very nasty too her son-in-law. The film did not play religion as as if I think it should have, because we get very little of Christ in their household and it only plays when they enter church.

In the end, the music had a cheesy classical theme that kept playing over and Henson was excessively dramatic. I think the comedy and script is very good so you will enjoy it, but also realize that the film is very unfair to female’s point of view. Chestnut had the opportunity to narrate his scenes making it a limited point-of-view when clearly, he had ways that needed to change too, not just the wife. Typical ending and a typical black drama, which could have, did better to be an Oscar movie. If this were a Play, then it would be very good, but it is not so it sort of falls under then I expected. Love the comedy, but upset at the limited viewpoints and dramatic scenes involving Henson. I give this movie…

6 Out of 10 Stars

The Day the Earth Stood Still (2008)

{ January 3, 2009 @ 12:20 pm } · { Uncategorized }
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Independance Day all over again, but not as great.

Independance Day all over again, but not as great.

The Day the Earth Stood Still (2008)

By Moking

 

SPOILER ALERT

 

There is one thing we humans love seeing and that is destruction to the earth. We rushed into theaters for great films like Independence Day and The Day After Tomorrow just to see great graphics and loads of destruction. I will be honest, I did go into this film with similar ideas like Day after Tomorrow, however, this movie fell short behind and exactly stood still like the title says.

 

To start this review off, everyone saw the trailer and rooted for the film. The graphics were amazing and looked incredibly real! High marks for the graphic department! Now what makes this Movie fall apart? Well the movie starts with a pointless beginning with a person on the Ice Mountains touching some giant sphere. A waste of scene I tell you, it should have jump in to the actual movie. The story is very interesting for the first 30 minutes, but it falls flat and become predictable. Jennifer Connelly did a great job on this film. She was most liked and played a great protagonist. Now who was the Antagonist? It was not the “aliens” because they were during what was well deserved. Maybe the Antagonist was Kathy Bates or Jaden Smith who was annoying as shit running through you. The humans done nothing to show they were changing their ways. The Government continued to attack the “aliens” and for some reason managed to get their way as always. This plot needed to be more tough and heartless, but instead they played it safe and predictable.

 

The characters did not help much either. The giant robot was very funny! Looked like something from the X Men. They should have brought in Storm to control the weather while at it. Kathy Bates was the most unrealistic secretary I ever saw. She acted more like commander in chief! I would have thought she was the president. Jaden as I mentioned, was annoying like any typical kid in a story. Keanu was just like a robot that had a stick up his ass. His lack of emotion ruins the scenes. He just does not play it well like it supposes to be delivered. This film stood still as the title says.

 

The Goods: The Watchmen trailer! It is awesome! Oh and the graphics on this film.

The Bads: The plot is predictable and falls flat. Some of the characters do not cut it.

 

5 out of 10

 

Klaatu: “If the Earth dies, you die. If the human race dies, the Earth survives.”

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